Friday, February 10, 2012

Five Year Mission: Charlie X

Now this week is all about young Mr. Charlie Evans. Remember him? You know, the one that turned Tina into a lizard and just about killed us all. Poor Tina, she just hasn't been the same. She does still have that little nubbin left over from what was once her lizard tail and I think I saw her trying to catch a fly in Rec Room 6 just yesterday! She's still got a bit of iguana left in her. I had just finished doing her hair when Charlie zapped her--reminds me of that old saying: Hair today, Gorn tomorrow. Anyhoo, that little band from the 21st century, Five Year Mission, has written a song about Charlie and it is a pure delight! Almost makes up for all those poor souls who died on the Antares. Here's the video:

After doing some research of my own, I believe that those golden-throated galaxy birds in Five Year Mission are more than they seem. I grew suspicious of their music when I noted the plucking tinkle of an authentic Vulcan lyre hidden away behind the melody in one of their songs! Why, first contact with the Vulcans won't be until 2063. How could they have possibly acquired a Vulcan lyre? (I actually prefer the name Vulcan lute simply because everyone knows that Vulcans find lies distasteful.) The only possible explanation for these young interstellar canaries is that they have come to the 21st century from the future. I have reason to believe that they are actually from my own time, the twenty-third century! This of course is the simplest and most rational explanation.

Other explanations include that they are advanced gas-cloud beings who have taken human form to study us, or that they are musicians of the future who were split in two by a transporter malfunction and flung into the past (They probably have either really mean or really passive counterparts somewhere in the future wondering why they just don't feel whole anymore.) Another possibility that we must consider is that they are the last of a salt-vampire race, traveling from venue to venue singing to and sucking the salt from innocent groupies. We must check to see if there are any unsolved murders in the places they've played that involve desalinated, polka-dotted victims. Hmm, can we prove that they look the same to everyone? Has anyone noticed Nancy Crater playing with them on stage at any point? That may explain the screaming, crying, fainting fans. After all, the easy road to success is just to appear as whoever your fans wish to see? Please, if you see them live, pay attention. If someone in the crowd screams "They look just like the Beatles!" (or the Go-gos or the Monkeys or five members of the Brady Bunch) then we may indeed have salt vampires on our hands.

Well, until we can figure out where they came from for sure, keep buying their music so they won't get suspicious. (You can buy it on or iTunes or directly from their site. Check out the 5YM store on their site. They have groovy t-shirts and stickers and buttons too .)


  1. YES!!! We love 5YM!!! And we love you, Moxie! The funniest thing is, we found YOU through Five Year Mission's facebook page! It's a small universe. Awww one big happy trek family. <3

  2. Oh, Dion, you're going to LOVE Webisode Wednesday this week because it's all about Five Year Mission. Yeah!