|These ladies don't need no heat lamps!|
|Venus drugs makes other women catty.|
Something's going on. The power keeps flashing on and off. I can't put anyone under the photon driers for fear of a short. in addition to that there seems to be a trombone player on board.
Stardate 1329.1 (that can't be right can it? Stardates are so confusing to me!)
We have guests on board! (I'm not sure if they brought the trombone or not.) There is an Irish gentleman and three incredibly beautiful women. Dear cosmelog, you would not believe what they are wearing! One of them has a asymmetrical periwinkle mini cut at a rake. One side is off the shoulder and the other has a long bell sleeve. The hem of the dress and sleeve have fringe! FRINGE! Don't you just want to die! The other two are wearing longer numbers. One in fern green with a high neck and a diagonal cutout running from shoulder to ribcage, taking the scenic route of the cleavage.
The skirt part of the dress looks like a bit of an asymmetrical wrap. The other in cerise, with a plunging sweetheart neckline and an empire cut. (however, it looks like the empire has been torn assunder: Slit from ankle to hip.
The fabric of the dresses is definitely the shimmery silk of the giant genetically engineered sequin worms of Andor. All of them look like they just stepped off the runways of Alpha Centuri and I swear these gowns are copies of dresses I just saw in last months Venusian Vogue!
|Modified Judy Jetson, Cher, babydoll space pixie with a bump|
These new women, it turns out, are com ordered brides. I just want to be their friend.
|Magda Kovacs, BFF|
Kirk, Spock, Mudd and those beautiful ladies have beamed down to Rigel XII. I hated to see them go but my head does seem to be a bit clearer with them off the ship. There is certainly something fishy about those women. They are just so blindingly beautiful. Where have I heard that before?
|After (arm raising side effect)|
|After (self-stroking side effect)|
Eureka! I've got it! "blindingly beautiful" that's the key. It triggered the memory I needed to solve this mystery--the women are hopped up on the Venus drug. You see first year Starfleet cosmetology students have to watch a lot of training films. One of the minor films is "Blindingly Beautiful: The Deadly Venus Drug". As a cosmetologist I should be the first line of defense against intrusion by Venus drugged vixen (and of course men).
|Venus Drug, AKA Ishtar Ice, Aphrodite Red, Cupid Crack|
The hairs actually begin to emit low levels of light, causing the taker of the drug to appear gauzy when viewed close-up.
|The proper way to take Venus Drug|
The captain is back on the ship. I told him all I know about the Venus drug and boy was he mad at Mudd. It seems that the side effects got Eva; she's on a bad beauty trip. She bolted and now they are using all of our power to try and find her. Thank the gods there are no tall buildings on Rigel XII.
Phew! We got the crystals. We're dropping Mudd off at the closest Federation outpost where he'll probably be tried and locked up. They found Eva and she is going to stay with one of the miners (as are Magda and Ruth) Turns out they are very desperate women, willing to marry just about anyone. The tension they brought upon the ship has been lifted. The men are less horny and the women less catty. Things have returned to normal. There is a moral to be learned here, a very important moral: You don't have to be on drugs to be beautiful. You just have to think you're on drugs to be beautiful. Remember that one ladies.
|A male on Venus and after the effects wear off|