Monday, April 9, 2012

Sexual Harassment Seminar

ATTN: Enterprise Bridge Personnel

I want to remind you that we do have an HR representative from Starfleet Headquarters for our mandatory sexual harassment training seminar. This year our presenter will be Candy Peaks (Last years HR rep, Fanny Sanchez gave us a rather unfortunate rating and vowed never to return to our ship, remember? Thankfully, I'm not sure anyone at Starfleet even pays attention to those ratings.) Now I'm not exactly sure if this is a "recognizing and avoiding" or a "general how-to" meeting so be prepared for either.

So, I know you are thinking "With the sexual mores of the 23rd century, Why should I be concerned about sexual harassment?" And you might have a point. HOWEVER, the United Federation of Planets constitution states that all Starfleet personnel must have, and I quote, "...sexual harassment training, occupational saftey training, first aid and phaser safety training once every star-year." We had phaser safety training in the star-spring (donations for Security Officer Harrison's widow are still being accepted). And now that it's star-summer we are due for sexual harassment training.

Last year we were boarded by the lovely Fanny Sanchez who presented our sexual harassment seminar. She gave a gripping presentation, enumerating her points stroke by stroke until all of her knowledge had spilled out upon us. That Fanny sure does know how to spread information. Now, I did comment that some of the officers on the bridge slept through the seminar. I will not name names. I know it followed poker night but that is inexcusable. Everyone denied napping but I do have photographic evidence:  

Some people were caught sleeping at last years sexual harassment seminar

I know training seminars can be boring, but, once again, "mandatory" means that everyone must attend. Let me repeat that EVERYONE MUST ATTEND (Jimmy Kirk, this means you). Please set an example for the rest of the crew. The presentation for bridge personnel will be on Friday at 8:00 am. If you miss this seminar, you MUST sign up for another scheduled crew seminar. The signup sheets are posted in Rec Room 6. If you miss the seminar altogether you will NOT be eligible for promotions or shore leave (which, as I have been repeatedly promised, should be any day now--I'm looking at you again James).

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