Sunday, August 17, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
"The play is the thing."
Posted by Moxie Anne Magnus at 1:05 PM
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
|Rollin'..........Rollin'.........Rollin' on the River|
Well, I dug up this old production of Harold Hecuba's 1966 musical version of Hamlet to help prepare you. You may have not seen this version. What can I say, children just aren't educated in the classics anymore.
The Moxie Pod Webisode "Conscience of a King" will be rolling out Wednesday afternoon!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
I just love planet Q! There aren't many places like it: long purple sunsets, soft-pink rocks, all that natural beauty and a thriving cosmopolitan culture to boot! Q-city is amazing. There's a Starbuck's on every corner. Why they even have their own particular version of that historical TV reality series: "The Real Housewives of Q-city". I was so glad to know we were diverted there.
|Tom and Martha: brilliant mind meets razor sharp cheekbones|
On arrival Kirk insisted that I go to the theater with he and the Leightons. How could I refuse? We went to see Macbeth at the old Q-city Orpheum. Kirk seemed to think that this was somehow an Arcturian version of Macbeth. He kept going on about how interesting it was to have an Arcturian as Macbeth given their history and what not. I didn't say anything. You know how Kirk is, once he gets an idea in his head it just won't come out no matter how hard you shake him. I think he was just confused by the loose skin and deep bags under the actor's eyes. From a distance they do look kind of like the folds on an Arcturian. Kirk has never been very good at remembering or reading faces.
(Above: I've added a picture of Karidian's Macbeth (left) and an actual Arcturian Macbeth (right) from the Montgomery Alabama Shakespeare Festival in 2256--actually this is a picture of Lady Macbeth, but you get the idea. They do look strikingly similar so Kirk's mistake is understandable.)
|Lady Macbeth with a plumed water foul perched on her noggin|
Now here's what I know about Kodos: Tarsus IV was the sight of a federation terra-forming colony in phase 3 of planet transition (PT3). Everyone knows how dicey PT3 is, but Tarsus IV's situation was made critical when a mutated fungus destroyed the entire food supply. Help was sent for but would not, it was assumed, arrive in time to avert disaster. Governor Kodos decided to kill half of the 8000 colonists to save the others. I'm a little sketchy on how this was going to work and I believe history was too. There is a rumor that the colony had two primitive replicators that needed organic matter to create food from foodlessness and that Kodos wanted to recycle the dead into food cubes. Now, maybe history would have been a little lighter on Kodos had he asked for volunteers to off themselves, or held a food lottery where the winners got food and the losers became it. Instead he chose people based on his own desires to test his pet eugenics theories. He carefully divided the population into two groups under the guise of handing out rations. The first group of 4000 were brought into the ampitheater and slaughtered en mass! The remaining, on discovering his plan, revolted, and Kodos and his men barricaded themselves in the granary, which was sacked and burned to the ground just as help arrived one month earlier than expected. The charred remains of Kodos were found in the ash of the burnt granary. Of the 4000, only nine witnesses escaped.
|The Leighton's fashionable Q-city digs|
The Leightons party was simply fabulous! Everyone had such fun. Oh, of course finding the hosts dead body kind of put a damper on the evening, but it is hard to throw a party without some glitches. Martha really knows how to entertain. Their house is of course a 23rd century minimalist retro-modern space-colonial ranch style. She served red food cubes, green food cubes, yellow food cubes and replicated cocktail wienies. With Tom's job they apparently have some pull: they had classic ritz crackers with canned cheese whiz swirled on the top and garnished with a green olive slice, an extravagance rarely seen this far from Earth.
We had drinks on the veranda in the purple glow of the sunset. Everyone associated with the local arts was there along with all the luminaries in from out of town for the Q-city Theater Festival. I was going in to powder my nose when I saw Kirk talking to a woman with stunning hair. It was piled on the top of her head like golden blond ribbon candy and cascaded down to flip out at the ends. Turns out it was our little Lady Macbeth. I hardly recognized her without a rooster perched upon her brow. I will say even out of costume she has a particular eye for fashion. (Is that how one can put it without being rude?) She was wearing a blue number, garishly garnished with blue silk flowers. It was less of a dress than a drape. In fact, it looked like the seamstress was called away just as she was cutting the skirt and returned without her scissors to finish the job. For all I know she was just sitting in her hotel room having tea and realized she was late for the party, stood up, wrapped the table cloth, centerpiece and all, around her silver shimmery tights and sped away. The sparkly tights were lovely, but I question her choice of sandals with them.
Kirk obviously took a fancy to this woman as they left together. That was when I realized she must be a follower of Sheikra. On the way out, she covered her head with an exquisite see-through head wrap, the kind the Sheikra's wear especially during Sheikradan. Not to be unkind, but she did look rather like a banshee hooker heading for the entertainment district.
Our dear Lenore Karidian, Lady Macbeth sans the fowl, came on board to inquire after transport. Her hair was flawess. These theater folks are at least accompanied by make-up artists and coiffuriers with rare skill. Among their seamstress, their costume-makers, they also, obviously, have a furrier of immense talent as well. She was wearing a blue fur mini dress, with a neck-line to die for! The dress, the hair, both were fashion forward couture. Now, imagine an artist of ikibana carefully choosing a few rare botanicals of perfect color and twisting form. Let's say he then carefully sprays them with glue and tosses glitter upon them before adding a leopard print ribbon. What I'm getting at here is that Lenore is either in need of a stylist or she is in need of a stylist who isn't blind. She had her shimmery tights and the same shoes she wore to the party--sandals, yes, sandals. But that wasn't even the kicker. She had a taco shaped handbag that was lovely. But, the accessory she could have done without were the tan leather gloves. No one in their right mind would think of putting gloves with that outfit! Gloves? Was she off to cat-burgle some diamond from a museum or strangle some rival? I mean, really! Janice ran into her on the bridge and I thought I'd never hear the end of it. Actually, I think poor Janice is succumbing to space madness. I've not been letting my scissors out of my sight when she's in my chair in salonbay if you catch my drift.
All in all, not much good came from this little episode. True, justice was brought to Kodos, but Loco Lenore left a string of bodies in her wake. I knew there was something sinister in her fashion sense. Fact: you can always tell a homicidal maniac by the accessories she chooses. Legends of the ghost of Karidian or Kodos have already begun to circulate among the crew and I'm sure will become a part of Enterprise's legacy. I guess amid all the loss we did gain that; every good old ship needs a ghost and we've got one that's not only a damn fine actor but also a mass murderer to boot!
Unfortunately, our little idea of bringing theater to the Enterprise was a bust. The actors were a little miffed at us breaking up their company, not to mention killing their founder. They were, as a result, a little unfriendly to the crew. Crew morale is at an all time low. The play was indeed the thing, the thing that pushed a jumpy crew right over the edge. Riley and Rand have both put in for transfers. I will miss them very much. If we didn't have a wedding coming up to lift everyone's spirits I don't know what we'd do. Mark my word, we desperately need to clock some shore leave hours soon, or we'll have a full blown mutiny on our hands!
|They did get a standing ovation|
Friday, August 1, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
|Knowing me, Knowing you...|
So, last we saw, Pike had been taken prisoner. We were on our way to Talos IV, a forbidden planet. Contact with Talos IV is the last offense punishable by death. We are still unsure if we all face the death penalty here or just Spock, but I'm sure someone will clear that up at some point.
|Now all the Keeper needs is a grill, a pimp hat and a fly cane|
Pike: Hey, what the...
Keeper: See, Humans are dumb. He's just figuring out we are telepathic.
Pike: Why I outta...
Keeper: Now he's gonna put on a show.
Pike: Hey! (He throws himself against the transparency)
Keeper: Let's experiment on it.
|Little in the middle but they got much back of the head|
As living beings evolve in intelligence, it seems they often loose their hair. I find this distressing. Surely the loss of hair and hair ornamentation denotes a decline in civilization. Isn't that obvious. The real reason the Talosians need humans is for their hair. Without hair to style, boredom sets in. When beings can no longer tease and trim and ornament a healthy, full head of hair they loose their will to live. That is what happened to these poor beasts! That is what really drove them underground. But I digress.
Next, we saw the crew back on the ship. There was Dr. Boyce and the younger bushy-browed Spock, the one called Number One with the Lois Lane hairdo, another pert little red-headed girl and two young men- one blond and one brunette. I have no idea what they were talking about, something about weapons. I was too busy looking at the girl's hair and trying to decide if the boys were hot or not.
|A "before" shot of the Flamingo Hotel and Casino|
So, Pike and Vina are at the palace on Rigel VII. I can only assume the Keeper told Vina to really play it big, because she really goes over the top, screaming and flailing her arms. I suppose the Talosians were in a hurry to put them there because they really didn't spend much time on her hair. They braided a ribbon in a hairpiece and hot glued it to a headband. It was passable, but not for a damsel in distress--her hair was certainly in distress! I guess they didn't think Pike would notice that much, but I bet that's why he didn't fall for her right away.
Pike killed the warrior and suddenly, he and Vina were back in the cage. Now, that was a hair do. Vina looked lovely in the silver dress and the bob.
Back on the surface the crew beamed down with an old style laser cannon to try and blow open the entrance to the Talosian lair. They were unable to. I saw the problem right away but no one else seemed to notice. You see, laser cannons have a "laser light show" setting and it was pretty obvious from the technicolor blast that they had it set to "firework display" and not "pulverize".
|First Talosian Church: Services are a Real Blast|
There was something about breeding and Adam and Eve, and then Vina disappeared, and then Pike was in a burning pit, and, oh yes, at that point Pike learned that Vina was real, and that the Talosians couldn't read through hate. I started to tune things out a little. I flipped through a UFP Hair Today magazine. But then it started to get interesting again.
There was Vina in a shady clearing in the woods. She and Pike were having a nice little picnic. Now, her hair was the picture of perfection! I was sure the Talosians were trying harder, such lovely blonde locks! Well, then things really got intersting.
|Chartreuse Chanteuse in her Gorn Skin Getup|
|"I will NOT mate with these chicks."|
When I looked back up they had broken out of the cage and were on the surface of the planet. The exchange went something like this:
Keeper: Hey, now that we got you up to the surface you can start breeding. Don't mind me.
Pike: Send these two back and I'll stay with Vina.
Number One: Oh no you don't. I'll see you in hell first. (She set her phaser to overload.)
Other Talosians: We've gone through their stuff. Wanna know what we found?
Keeper: (mentally incorporating human data and turning to Pike) Oh, You bitches is crazy.
Vina: Sigh. That means you're free to go.
That was when I noticed Number One's blue nails. Such refinement.
|You had to go and muss her hair too!|
So they left Talos IV and that was that. All in all it was great entertainment, but I missed the point. I mean really, how is that going to get Spock off?
But it wasn't over! It seems that Commodore Mendez was never on board. Spock set all this court martial nonsense up just to bring Pike back to Talos IV. Now Pike won't have to spend the rest of his life in a bleeping chair! He and Vina can now breed in their perfect illusory bodies for bus loads of Thalosian school children to watch! Starbase 11 has also contacted us and let Spock (or maybe, all of us) off the hook. None of us will die today! Yipee! What an amazing ruse! I will say it was much better than that mystery dinner theater I went to at the Flamingo on Rigel VII a year ago. Maybe Spock should be the cruise director.
|Ho Ho Ho, Green Goddess|